I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
