turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
