You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Randomize
