I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
