ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
birth control should be required to get into college
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
