I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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