dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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