So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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