I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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