You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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