So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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