So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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