I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
