The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
