it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
