belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
