i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
