Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
