its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
