Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
