For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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