I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
