I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I pour the whiskey from now on
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
