so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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