I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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