they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
40s are totally the cure
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
