It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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