Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
