he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
