you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
