He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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