my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
