Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You're a waste of cheezeits
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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