seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
