how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
