you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
