My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
