D3 body, D1 cock
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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