if i can run in heels then i can drive
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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