she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
