she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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