We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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