is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Randomize
