you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
