there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
