i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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