i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
