Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
