i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize