Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
