I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
