I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
