he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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